I like to think that I learned a little about grit and learning that I can get better and grow from my parents. My parents pushed me and continue to do so, but are also very supportive and always willing to lend and ear or provide wisdom. When I was 5 years old, my father taught me to slalom ski. In turn teaching me the value of effort both mentally and monetarily. He gave me $50 for successfully getting up. That was initially what pushed me to attempt the challenge, but once I accomplished the goal after days of trying and mouthfuls of water, I felt the thrill of accomplishment. I still feel that thrill as if it were yesterday and was probably my first real challenge I ever undertook. I have since learned to love the pain that sometimes comes with striving for a goal and the reward that usually follows. I want that for my daughter.
Assist in helping set goals by instilling in them to learn, improve and how to plan out their goals. First thing is to start by setting out a goal they have in mind and working backwards on what they need to do in order to achieve that goal with smaller goals. These smaller goals can help them track or measure their progress and encourage them to keep pushing and working hard. It also teaches them to plan and the importance of planning ahead to ensure a better chance of success especially when challenged. The other thing to do is to encourage positive self-talk, which is just a good thing to keep in mind even for yourself as we will all inevitably face times of doubt and failure. As my mother always says, “you can do anything you put your mind to.”
Give up on the need to control and be there to support which allows for your child to have the opportunity to develop and grow for themselves. It’s important not to just do things for them because you’re not always going to be around and they need to learn how to do it for themselves. Letting them figure out things for themselves enables them to become more resourceful and self-sufficient which will serve them well as they become adults themselves and face challenges in their education, professional lives and potentially family.
Lead by being an example by how you conduct yourself as well as providing examples
from your life and experiences. Keep in mind that as your kids grow all you can really do is be a good example and give them the tools to succeed, but in the end they will make their own choices, hopefully good ones, and will emulate and improve what you have taught and will teach them as you may have also done. I am always doing my best to be a better dad as I plan for the future and also want to set a good example by showing my daughter that I too am still continuing to grow, learn and push myself. Show her that you can accomplish many things and some even great if you don’t give up and everything will work itself out if you’re willing to put in the effort.
Look up Carol Dweck and read and see what she has to say about a growth mindset.